A Safe Space to Play

One of my personal challenges for this coming year is to take more time for art and self expression. I also find I work through difficult emotions or events much more easily when I take the time to draw, paint, or stitch out my feelings.

I also often feel stuck on big projects that are time consuming and easily become boring. I want to feel free to pop off the big projects to work on something small that won’t eat up loads of time.

So I’ve decided to make a quilted journal. Each “page” measures 7 inches with an extra inch on the side so they can eventually be bound together to form a book. I even fed my inner nerd by designing the journal page, then digitizing it so I can easily stitch each page in the hoop of my embroidery machine:

Once I take it out of the machine and trim the fabric around, I just turn it right side out and the journal page is ready to quilt!

This is a personal journal and just a fun exercise in creativity and expression. I’m not going for perfection or even stellar design. I’m trying to give myself a safe space to play.

For the first page I drew a box inside and sketched a girl I’ve had in my head this week. She’s pretty with big eyes and flowing hair – very much in the same style as many of my goddesses. I want to work on faces and expressions more and I’m learning loads by taking two drawing classes on Craftsy – Drawing Facial Features and Drawing Facial Expressions.

When I drew the girl, I had a lot of different things on my mind. I wanted her to look strong, peaceful, and happy because this was the exact opposite of how I was feeling.

The holidays really work on me and I was feeling tired and stressed. Instead of taking a break and relaxing, I began bouncing around other quilting blogs and quickly felt jealous. HOW do they DO IT? I saw beautiful table runners and placemats and cute aprons and felt totally overwhelmed by the amount other people could manage during this time. I would love to be making beautiful things too, but WHERE IS THE TIME?

My jealousy was ugly and it made me feel terrible. I rarely feel jealous because it’s such a pointless emotion. When I do feel it, I read it as a sign that I need to stop looking at what other people are doing and go quilt myself. It’s often a sign that my creativity is being stifled.

Picking up this little journal piece, I realized I had space to quilt text around the goddess face. She’s so pretty, I wanted the words to be something nice. I first started with “Jealousy is ugly” but that didn’t seem to fit. Instead I went with “Jealousy is not Pretty.” I think this is the perfect little reminder about that particular emotion.

Of course in the process of making this little piece and flexing my creativity, I was able to let go of those ugly jealous feelings and feel good about myself again.

I believe in my heart that there is enough room for ALL of us to succeed, make gorgeous quilts, and design beautiful things. There is enough for EVERYONE.

Instead of focusing so hard on what everyone else is doing and comparing myself negatively, I want to feel happy, supportive, and kind. I don’t have time or the space in my heart for an ugly emotion like jealousy. This little piece is a reminder of that.

I’m planning to add a bit more to this piece, to maybe paint her hair, and play with different thread colors over her face and background. This is an open space to play, but I admit I’m feeling a bit afraid of messing it up completely.

Hopefully this journal quilt project will accomplish two things – give me a vehicle for self expression, and force me out of my comfort zone to try new things. Even if I screw this piece up completely, I’ll have learned something and isn’t that the whole point?!

Let’s go quilt,

Leah Day